Finding Flow starts with Stress

The search for flow starts when you realize you don’t want things to stay the same in your life. Something needs to change. There are too many negative thoughts and emotions, you feel stressed. Sometimes you do know what the cause is, but you don’t know what to do to fix it. You may have no idea, only the notion that something isn’t right.

You are facing many challenges, when you are building a life of your own. Don’t need to remind of you that. What might happen when you cannot process everything that is going on, you start worrying and before you know it, you overthink and analyze absolutely everything. It makes you feel safe. Your mind is already busy processing all information from college. There is no room for worries. It is really exhausting!

It is when you realize you want to enjoy life and not ‘live in your mind’ all the time.

I used to survive in my mind, since I had the illusion that it kept me safe. It made me feel in control. I was either analyzing the things that had happened in the past or worrying about all the things that might happen in the future. I wasn’t able to go with the flow where the moments of happiness and opportunities in life unfold themselves. Since my mind was full and I was unable to relax. I longed for peace of mind.

One of the things that was holding me back from enjoying life is the need for perfection. I only started doing things when I knew I would succeed. Since I wasn’t allowed to make mistakes, I couldn’t challenge myself enough either. Staying in your comfort zones makes life boring, I believe. If I would like to create a life I love while doing a job I love, I would need to drag myself out of it.

When I learned the principles of mindfulness, I was able to move past my mind and see the bigger picture of what is happening. I learned to connect to my intuition and find answer to the bigger questions in life, like finding meaning. My ability to take better care of myself increased as well. I don’t feel swamped by emotions that easily, since I know how to process them. I am able to connect to people better and build stronger relationships. It helps to be aware of the moment and enjoy it.

Accept who you are

Many people don’t like their ‘flaws’ and feel insecure because of them. They are hiding, afraid to show themselves. Every time I see that, my heart breaks, since I see so many beautiful sides to these people as well. They are holding back, denying the world and more importantly themselves to see their qualities.

I know what it is like to work hard to fix your flaws. It’s a matter of perception I have come to believe. I was programmed into only seeing my negative sides, so I neglected to focus on the positive. It made me unhappy and feel dissatisfied with myself all the time.

We all have gifts we received when we were born. Maybe you haven’t cultivated them yet, but they are there, ready to be released. When you unleash your potential, there is so much positive energy created in your life.

Start doing things that match your qualities and stop doing things that strain you too much. Accept who you are and learn to deal with all elements.

I disliked the fact that I am slightly introverted and highly sensitive. Since I have become more mindful, I have come to see them as assets in my life. I am able to feel deeply. It makes life interesting and worthwhile.

I am able to use this gift in my coaching and training, since I am able to tune in to people’s feelings. Sometimes you are not aware of what is happening and what you are feeling, I can pinpoint the right aspect and you learn more about yourself as a result. It will help you to resolve issues.

Life isn’t about fun and happiness all the time, that is just the way it is. It’s the natural unfolding of life and hardships are part of it. The key is to trust life and yourself, so you know you can deal with it.

Building confidence is an important element.

I still worry, but there is more than that. I have learned to listen to my intuition, which is a different source of information than comes from your worrying mind and do things I find scary anyway, because I believe in them and I started believing in myself. It was incredibly empowering to be able to move past my fears.

I have been able to create happiness, joy and peace of mind while following my flow in life.

What is flow?

I hadn’t read much about flow when I already intuitively knew that it was the answer to my question: How can I build my life, so I can replace stress with peace of mind & happiness?

Later I saw that there is even a book called ‘finding flow’, written by scientist and psychologist Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi. As I do like theories, it was an interesting framework, yet it wasn’t the whole story I believe about what flow is and how to move into your own flow.

According to Csikszentmihalyi flow is about the process of achieving happiness through control over one’s inner life. In moments of flow you are doing something in which what you feel, wish and think are in harmony. Your consciousness is full of experience, which means your mind is fully absorbed by the thing you are doing. There is no room for worrying or negativity to enter your mind, you basically forget everything around you. When you are doing nothing special, that is when all kinds of negative thoughts start to lead a life of their own.

It is called ‘flow’ because the action feels effortless. These are moments that stand out in people’s lives. It’s about doing things that match your skills, you like doing them and you are challenging yourself to get better.

Besides this vision, I use another approach to flow, which matches the definition in the book ‘The power of flow: practical ways to transform your life with meaningful coincidence.’, written by Charlene Belitz and Meg Lundstrom.

Flow is the natural, effortless unfolding of our life in a way that moves us toward wholeness and harmony.

For me flow is about embracing life in all its facets and make the most of it. It’s about creating a positive mindset towards life. It’s about doing the right things that fulfill you, at your own pace. When you are in harmony with life, you are able to build stronger relationships with the people around you, spreading kindness and joy and receiving them in return.

When you are searching for things to be effortless, you need to pay close attention to the cues of your emotions and feelings. They signal you whether you are moving in the right direction at the right pace. You are the only person who knows if it is right. When you go either too fast or too slow, you generate stress in your life.

The key is stop wanting to go faster and go faster when you are moving too slow. Take your time.


I wish that things are effortless for you and you feel happy. That is why I would be more than happy to help you find your flow.

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